Sibling jealousy is a common problem that occurs in early childhood and can be carried into adulthood. Jealousy between adult siblings is usually deep seeded and festers over a number of years. By the time the children have arrived at adulthood there is anger and resentment towards one another.
The jealousy can be due to a number of things including: favoritism of one child over another, age differences, or even differences in treatment. This jealousy can cause many different problems for both parents and other siblings. It can also cause rifts in the family that are hard to heal.
Childhood History Affects Relationships Between Siblings
Most every sibling relationship contains some type of jealousy. However, how these jealous feelings were handled when they were siblings can affect how it manifests in adulthood. For example, if the parents noticed the jealous feelings when the children were small and tried to deal with the feelings in a constructive way the jealousy is less likely to be pronounced in adulthood.
If siblings were pitted against one another and parents took sides with one child over the other then the jealousy will most likely continue to be severe. Therefore, it is important for parents to present a united front and try to deal with jealous behaviors when the children are young without taking sides. These jealous feelings should be discussed with the children and a solution should be found that helps both parties involved.
Significance of Sibling Jealosy
The jealousy that occurs between adult siblings can have a lot of significance to both children because of the history and hurt feelings it has created. In addition, the jealousy can affect relationships with parents, other siblings and even extended family members. This can spill over into problems with scheduling family events because the sparring siblings may not want to be around one another.
Once this starts to occur there can be a great deal of dysfunction that develops within the family unit. The Ohio State University Extension reports that adult siblings will need to find a way to communicate and deal with one another as they age because there will be decisions about their parents and other family members that they will have to make together.
Causes and Prevention of Jealousy Between Brothers and Sisters
There can be many different causes of jealousy between adult siblings. Usually it can be traced back to favoritism or one child feeling that the other got special treatment or rewards that the other did not. It may also be related to how the parents treated an older or younger child. For example, if different rules were set for different children because of age or gender differences then this can lead to hard feelings.
Parents need to remember that they have to treat children similarly. Punishments, rewards and rules should all be in line with each child. This small amount of prevention can help deter the jealous feelings from massing into larger ones when the children become adults.
Siblings who have carried jealous behaviors into adulthood can sometimes be difficult to manage. These bad relationships can affect the entire family and make attending family get-togethers emotionally trying. Trying to prevent the jealousy from getting out of hand and communicating with the siblings is the best treatment option. Because, if the behaviors get out and escalate, this could end up with the police being called in to settle the dispute.
Kristie Jernigan - Kristie Janeway Jernigan has worked in the health care arena for over 20 years. She has a Masters degree in Health Administration and is ...
